Something to Fight About

November 15th, 1997

Admittedly, I'm one of the lucky ones. Fifteen years ago, I married a self-confident, mature guy with good table manners who wasn't looking for a mother or a therapist. Check, check, check, check and check.  Our fights are few and far between. We are respectful of one another and choose to discuss things that bother us, rather than go all ape-shit on each others ass over the important issues like finances, health, and/or career.

My Achilles heel? All things domestic.

It began during the first week of our marriage.

I was loading the dishwasher one night when Mr. Something pipes up and says "Uh, the knives are supposed to point up."

Where in the hell did he get that idea? Just so that I can cut myself when reaching in? And why did he feel the need to correct my dishwasher-loading technique? And who gives a shit anyway?

See what I mean?

Despite the fact that we laugh about this incident today, he remains a "point up" kind of guy and I continue to be a "point-down" kind of girl. It's a matter of principle.

October 01, 2012 09:30 ET

Bosch Survey Finds Top Five Reasons Your Dishwasher Is Making Noise in Your Marriage

A national survey fielded online by Harris Interactive on behalf of Bosch home appliances in June among over 2,000 U.S. adults ages 18 and older found that more than 40% of Americans fight about loading the dishwasher.

The top five reasons men and women admit they fight about when loading the dishwasher include:

1. 61% fight over whether dishes should be pre-rinsed or not
Nearly two thirds of all men and women cited this issue as their leading cause for argument, proving the pre-rinse, rinse debate to be a universal annoyance. The truth is that you should not pre-rinse as the detergent needs to cling to food to avoid scratching your dishes.

2. 41% clash about separating dishes or cramming as much as possible to tackle a larger load
Perhaps a case of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Women (48%) are more likely to fight about doubling together dishes than men (33%).

3. 39% argue over placing sharp knives point down or point up
Out of the group of women who were concerned with this issue, 43% argue about whether knives should be placed point up or down, compared to 34% of males. Using safety as your guide, the final say is to load knives point down for safety, while forks and spoons can be placed either handle up or down. A third rack on the Bosch 800 Plus dishwasher separates utensils to make it safer and easier to clean, load and unload.

4. 34% insist on placing cups on the top rack and plates on the bottom rack while their mate believes it's every dish for themselves
The biggest division in the dishwasher deliberation comes in the form of organization: nearly one third (32%) of all females who fight about loading the dishwasher insist that cups be placed on the top rack and plates on the bottom rack, not mixed. Like any good relationship where each person needs their space, each dish should be separated by a dishwasher's tines. Often, couples can keep the peace by splitting up large loads of dishes into smaller loads. A half load option on Bosch dishwashers tackles smaller loads so dirty dishes don't sit in the dishwasher.

5. 30% debate about placing plastic containers on the top rack to prevent a major plastic meltdown, or placing containers wherever space is available
You may think that loading the dishwasher could smooth over a fight, but your efforts could have the opposite effect if your dishes are ruined in the process. If destroying an entire collection of plastic storage containers has plagued your marriage, Bosch dishwashers feature a concealed flow-through water heating element to prevent plastic containers from dissolving, no matter where they are placed.

OK, so I guess dishwasher-loading fights are not all that uncommon, but just don't get me started on the inconsistent-location-of-things-in-the-refridgerator issue - AKA - the "where-in-the-hell-are-the-olives-now?" complaint. His problem, not mine.